my own birth story

How it began

When I was about 5 months pregnant my friend introduced me to hypnobirthing. She mentioned this could really help me with labour. I had not heard of hypnobirthing at that point but I was intrigued to try it. My friend has done it herself with her children so it made sense she introduced me to it. At the time I was so scared of birth, all I had been told that birth is painful and every woman has to go through this pain. I read Mongan’ s book of hypnobirthing and I was hooked. My thoughts of painful birth started to shift slowly. I practiced every single day -  breathing techniques that helped me to relax and zone out, wrote affirmations everywhere around me, listened to mp3s every evening (this always made me to fall asleep :), I visualised my baby during these practices and actually I really started to look forward to birth and meeting my beautiful baby. The fact that I truly put time and effort into it really helped me. I was now so excited to welcome my baby boy into this world. I have done these practices at home but also decided to attend hypnobirthing workshop a month before I was due. It was nice to recap it with hypnobirthing teacher, learn more stuff and share the experience with like minded mums.

How the labour started

My labour started with slight surges that very slowly increased in intensity. This was happening since lunch time for the rest of the day. I put my hypnobirthing knowledge to the test and was visualising, listening to soothing music and affirmations and breathing correctly. I felt like surges were slightly increasing with time so I thought I would get to the hospital as it started to be uncomfortable. The journey to hospital was awful, I could feel any bumps on the road whilst being in the car and it truly threw me off my focus, I started to feel more intense surges than when I was at home. After this car journey my contractions stopped completely. When we got to the hospital the midwife checked me and said I am not dilated at all and that I am not in labour. This was the strangest thing because I thought I was labouring at home while keeping pain at bay with my visualisations and breathing. Finding out the fact that I wasn’t even in labour was disheartening. I have a feeling my labour either stalled or those were  the most uncomfortable Braxton-Hicks. I do think it was more like a stalled labour. I decided to head back home and rest as my surges stopped while I was in hospital. This was happening during the night.  Next morning I was sick but finally got some meaningful sleep. That day in the afternoon my mucous plug detached and I started having the same surges. This time though they increased bit quicker and they became more intense with time. I knew for sure I was labouring. Again, I breathed through all surges and visualised my baby, listened to music to manage it all and it was all fine up until the evening when it started to become very intense and painful. During my hypnobirthing learning I was adamant about not having any pain relief but at that moment I wanted something to relieve the pain. And yes, it is okay to change your mind.

Birthing centre

We entered the birthing centre based within the hospital. I asked the midwife for pain relief but didn’t want epidural so I opted for pethidine (morphine). The midwife kept coming in and out for a great length of time, I think it was about 3-4 hours. In the meantime I was labouring quietly, breathing through all my surges, visualising and listening to mp3s which helped massively. I was so focused that time went very quickly. I did have couple of visits from the consultant who suggested to monitor baby with electrodes which I politely refused and they respected it. I knew all pros and cons of this intervention and it was not needed. At that moment I still haven’t got my pain relief. I declined gas and air because I didn’t want to be sick again. Apparently, I was bleeding little bit more than usual that is why they sent doctor over to check on me and the baby but I believe everything was okay. When the midwife came again she suggested to have my waters broken as I was dilated around 8 cm if I remember correctly. I agreed and finally at that moment I received pain relief. I started to having huge surges since my waters broke but managed to breathe through it beautifully. I still didn’t feel the effects of pethidine at that time.

My baby arrived

To my and midwifes surprise she said she can feel the head. I only started to feel pain relief then. The midwife was surprised because she didn’t think I would labour so fast and knowing I am so close to crowning there wouldn’t be any pain relief. At the end when I started feeling hazy I breathed and pushed few times while my husband was lightly stroking my back and shoulders and my baby came out. It was amazing feeling but I slightly regret having pain relief as it was pointless in a way. I birthed all the way through without pain relief almost right to the end.  Also feeling hazy after birthing my baby wasn’t the best feeling. My baby had to be resuscitated and me and my husband were really scared of what was going on. I think this was a direct effect of pethidine given too close to giving birth. My baby was luckily okay and I held him on me, skin on skin and this was beautiful. I made sure that cord stopped pulsating and double checked with my husband whether it truly stopped and once it was white only then let midwife cut the cord. The midwife suggested to get extra oxytocin injection to help my placenta out. At that time I wasn’t informed about pros and cons of this intervention and I regret this decision knowing my body knows what to do. However, time I was worried it may take too long or it may not come out.  Consultant came in and tried to pull the placenta out, he snapped it twice. Me and my husband were getting worried because he started to prepare me for possible surgery if he can’t pull it out. Luckily he managed to take it out. But knowing what I know now I would not let anyone touch the cord and placenta again until I birth it out myself or if I was in real danger of bleeding out.

How I felt

Saying that, my birth was very positive experience and I was happy overall how it went. Yes, there were some details that could have been different but what is important is that I see this as a memorable breathtaking experience. My baby was never separated from me we were together constantly. I also put him sleeping next to me on my bed because he didn’t like sleeping in his little hospital co-sleeper bed.  Unfortunately, there is almost non existent support for mums who want to breastfeed. No one came to check on me or advise how to do it. I had to request someone to show me and even then it wasn’t  very helpful, we had still issues. Luckily the same friend who introduced me to hypnobirthing is also lactation consultant and helped me with breastfeeding through videos and face time. She saved our breastfeeding journey.

I am very grateful I have come across hypnobirthing because it helped me to experience birth in a very positive way and it removed all fear and anxiety that comes with the idea of birth. I hope that I can help other women to shift this perception of painful birth to a positive peaceful birth so they can prepare for and enjoy having their baby coming out to this world.

If you want to find out more please click here.